L.O.V.E. (verb, not a feeling)
1. L eaving the self and reaching out to others for their benefit
2. O bserving and appreciating how others are growing and learning
3. V alidating others the same way we validate the self
4. E ncountering the needy as if their needs are our own
This is Only a Test. What we experience… what we fear… what we want, is all in our heads. We don’t know anything for sure. It is all a mystery. Instead of accepting this fact, we tend to pretend we know, or simply live as if it does not matter. But it is only a test.
Treat this life as if it is the only one. Do not take it for granted. Learn from it. Be honest with each other. Treat others better. Make a difference in somebody’s life. Spend more quality times with others. Because it is not about me, or you. It is about everyone. It is about exploring, experimenting, and taking risks. If it does not kill you, it will make you stronger. So go out there, and be brave enough to take this test called Life.
This is only a Test……
There are many things we often take for granted that I stopped believing. For instance, I doubt we ever went to the moon. I don’t think we can rely on the government to help the poor. I don’t believe the US is the world power anymore, or a Christian nation. I don’t believe anymore that God is up there in a distant heavenly place and punishes us with eternal hell. I don’t think we are alone in the universe. I don’t think sodas and fast food are safe to consume. I don’t believe time exists, or that history books can be trusted. Pyramids were probably not built by humans, neither were the recent crop circles. I don’t think we will ever reach complete world peace, or that nations can ever unite. I don’t even believe everything we call reality is actually real, most of what we experience is an illusion.
What DO I still believe, you may ask?? Well, I still believe in the afterlife, and that ghosts or angels remain among us after the physical death. I still believe that we can teach our children better how to have more peace, by emphasizing on communication, cooperation, and mercy. I believe that we can help the poor by reaching out to our next door’s neighbor. I believe we can improve our technology to help us unite more, rather than emphasizing on individualism and competition. I believe that here and today are the places and time to start thinking differently about the human race.
I am still learning and growing, keeping some beliefs, getting rid of some old assumptions, and having new beliefs.
When I am at a new place, or when I am traveling in an unfamiliar area, or when I meet a person for the first time, time tends to slow down. When I am extremely nervous about something, and cannot think about anything else except what is making me nervous, time seems to slow down. However, when I am familiar with the place I am at, or when I already know where I am going while driving down the road, or when I am meeting someone I already know, time goes so much faster. This is because when we are not familiar with the environment, we tend to concentrate on what is new. We study it, explore it, and appreciate it more. When we are already familiarized with the situation, we take it for granted, and start thinking about other things, not paying attention to what is happening at the moment.
This explains why, when we get older, like from being a teenager to young adult, the years tend to go faster, the holidays go by faster, and the seasons just come and go. It is simply because when we get older, we have more responsibilities, more worries, and more regrets about life. Therefore, our minds increasingly start racing faster and faster, and we are more preoccupied with things in our new adult lives, and we are distracted with all the worries and memories of our adult lives. As children, we don’t have as many responsibilities, therefore we spend more time playing, watching TV, sleeping, and simply enjoying our childhood, which makes time seem slower. As children, we live the presence more, and appreciate the here and now. As adults, we forget more about the here and now and tend to focus more on the past and the future, missing what is right in front of us: the presence. So as an adult, I am planning to try to “slow down” time by focusing on the present. I am not going to simply forget about my responsibilities, but will focus more on what is in front of me: the present life. Thinking about the past and the future is good, so that I can learn from the past and plan for the future. But I will make the effort to concentrate more on what I have now so that I can live life the fullest.
I may not exist. Let me explain. Three days ago, while voting for whoever I think should be our next president (I know I just gave away my registered political affiliation, which means nothing to me because I consider myself an independent) I was asked if I have a different picture ID than the one I showed them. I asked “Why? What is wrong with this one?” The lady volunteering at the voting post replied “This one expired last November…”. I was startled. “What?!” I looked at my driver’s license and it said “Expiration Date 11/30/11″. A thousand thoughts came through my mind. How did I miss this? What kind of penalty does this involve? I have been driving illegally all this time? How can I work without my driver’s license? I was then freaking out and went right to the driver’s license place the next morning.
First I tried to renew my license on the internet before the next morning, but could not because it was already expired. Once I arrived at the license place, I was told they have a new policy that stipulates that I need my birth certificate. My poor wife, who just had major knee surgery three month ago (the time that I should have renewed my license), drove me back home so that I can get the stupid birth certificate. Once I returned to the driver’s license place, I was told that my birth certificate was invalid because I was born in Puerto Rico, and all puertoricans were mandated to renew their birth certificates two years ago because of some ridiculous acts of corruption. Of course, I have not renewed my birth certificate either, so I did not have a valid drivers license nor a birth certificate. My beautiful wife then drove me to work and I had to go through the embarrassing moment of having to explain to my subordinates ( I am a manager) that I could not drive at work (which is one of the requirement at work) because I let my driver’s license expire last November. My wife (the greatest in the world) continued to research more about how to obtain a birth certificate in an expeditious way, and found out that I need a valid driver’s license to be able to obtain a new birth certificate.
Now I don’t have a birth certificate because I don’t have a valid driver’s license, and I can’t get a driver’s license because I don’t have a valid birth certificate. It is an unfortunate cycle. What a mess! I spoke with my brother who lives in Puerto Rico who will try to help me obtain the birth certificate with my father’s help or a lawyer. Then he jokingly said “I guess you don’t exist anymore….!” Maybe he is right. In the eyes of the civilized world, if I don’t have a birth certificate or a valid picture identification card, I am nobody. How ridiculous this society is! I can almost relate to the thousands of undocumented people who are not worth of recognition because they lack the necessary paperwork to be accepted in this society. Being “nobody” or “nonexistent” is definitely not a good feeling. Now I have to depend on my wife to drive me everywhere, and swallow my pride as well. Oh, well, I guess I have to suck it up until I am able to renew my license and then I will be somebody again.
Update: I still don’t have an ID, because I don’t have a damn Birth Certificate, because it just takes too much time to obtain one. Since I don’t have an ID, my parent has to get in the middle of this and help. I am still a nobody in this society. Can’t drive to work, and neither during work (which is required). I feel embarrassed, helpless, and invisible. This is truly getting ridiculous.
Update: I finally got my ID.. I am somebody now. If I would not have asked my dad to obtain my Birth Certificate, I would not be driving at this time, and would still be living this trap. But those days are over. I exist…. again (I guess)
Contemplating on today’s world, it is safe to say that we are entering a new era of existence. But, would you say we are getting closer to each other? Or are drifting away from each other? I have children of my own, and I am worried about them disappearing into “cyberspace world.”
When I was a child, playing outside with my friends, meeting them at the local park, and calling them on the phone were typical things to do. Now what our children do is go into Facebook, Twitter, Skype, or whatever social digital network they use. Using the house phone is almost obsolete, since our children perceive texting as the way to communicate through the distance. What happened to talking face to face with your friends? What happened to “let’s meet a the park, or the basketball court, or the beach? What happened to “Hey, wanna play at the playground?”
Today’s children usually perceive the Wii and other video game system as the best way to have fun and do exercise. What happened to riding the bike, the skateboard, playing “tag you’re it”, and other fun and active games we used to play decades ago? And when traveling long distances with parents, children used to simply listen to the car radio, maybe play some small board games like cards or Uno, or simply look outside the window. Today’s children bring their DSI or watch a movie that their parents bought for them in the car so that they be quiet and don’t bother them with “are we there yet?” or “I am hungry/tired/thirsty/etc?”.
If you have children and are worried like I am, I guess what we are to do is turn off the computer
, put away the DSI, the Wii, Playstation, or whatever they have as electronic entertainment, and make the effort to spend some one-on-one time with our children. Don’t you think? Or are we too busy with our own cyber friends in Facebook and Twitter? Are we too worried about the news at CNN.com or Newsweek.com.? Maybe we are too preoccupied with who is going to be the next American Idol, or American President, instead of who our children are turning into? Are we spending too much time on the cell phones talking to our adults friends or doing some extra work on the computer before tomorrow’s big meeting at our jobs? Are we too enmeshed in our own cyber worlds that we don’t realize that our children are fading away into cyber space themselves?
I have been reflecting on this thought: we are truly alone in this life. Nobody truly understands what I feel. Nobody truly understands what you are feeling. All we can do is try our best to express ourselves with words which are limited themselves. Nobody perceives the world exactly like I do. We all have our own wishes, desires, fears, and goals, which nobody else can truly experience. We go through disappointments and joys, which only we can experience exactly the way we do. We celebrate being unique, yet we desire so much to adapt and conform. We are not truly satisfied with life, because we are truly by ourselves. And at the end of our lives, we depart the same way we came: alone.
I have made a list of phrases that are simply nonsense. Here you go:
Silverware – it is not even made of silver, unless you live in a mansion, it is actually aluminum or plastic.
Heart burn – not part of the heart, but the stomach, unless your heart lowered itself down your torso
Dry mouth- your mouth will never be dry, unless you are dead
Buffalo wings- since when do buffalos fly?
Dirty rice- if this were the case, I would not eat it
Pretty ugly- which one is it?
Black coffee/white milk – unless you add something, their color is obvious
Slow down- what would be slowing up?
Stand up- as opposed to stand down?
Soft drink- it is liquid, period.
Dragon fly/ cat fish/ spider monkey- which one is it?
pair of pants- this is really just one
TV set – what else does this set have besides the TV itself?
hot fever – it would not be fever if it weren’t hot
hard water – again, it is liquid
Do you have any additional phrases that simply make no sense?
These are the reasons why Christmas is no longer my favorite holiday.
1. It’s all about marketing, commercialism and convincing us to buy, buy , and buy some more.
2. It is also about the big, fat, beared man with elves and reindeers (fantasy)
3. It is making Thanksgiving disappear from our communities as people start decorating right after Halloween.
4. All children want are the presents under the tree, forget the tree!
5. The weather is too darn cold and depressing.
6. Christmas songs are also depressing.
7. Red and green do not match, never did, never will.
8. No matter what your religious faith is, Christians are adamant about convincing everyone that Christmas is all about God saving the world from eternal damnation through the birth of a Jewish baby (even though it truly has pagan roots).
9. People can’t make up their minds about saying “Merry Christmas”, or “Happy Holidays”
10. True love, care, and giving should be celebrated every day, not just on December 25th.
Got any other reasons why Christmas is not so great?
Why are we afraid of each other? What discourages us from reaching out to others more frequently? Fear is a strong emotion that paralyzes anyone. It does not allow us to do things that would help us communicate and understand each other. We rather keep compartmentalizing groups of people by race, gender, sexual orientation, nationality, religion, fashions, levels of education, etc. We prefer to keep separate from those who are different. We want to stay away from people who don’t think or act the same way we do. It is easier. Some people may deny this, but it is true. I was driving down the road today and noticed a bumper sticker on another car that said “Tolerance” with each letter looking like a symbol of different religions. I thought “Is that what we need, more tolerance? How do we do that exactly?
It is almost as if we need to get out of our comfort zones, and be brave enough to spend time with others that are different from us. But wait, can we simply do this when we already have preconceptions about each other? I guess not. But it is not only the difference of religions, but also the difference of ethnicity, social status, and personalities. I walk down the road and try to look at people’s eyes, and they are looking away. We are together, but lonely at the same time. We see each other, but not at each other. We hear each other, but don’t listen to each other. We simply avoid each other. What exactly are we afraid of? Being ridiculed? Being singled out? Being “contaminated” by others’ traditions and customs? What do we tend to think that we are better than others? Or that others are dangerous and therefore should be avoided?
But, you know who does not act this way? Children. They come to this world with a fresh set of mind. Actually, they come to this world with an empty mind, ready to be filled up with whatever we put inside of them. We fill their minds with whatever we choose to believe in: hatred, religion, tolerance, racism, segregation, etc. They are vulnerable to whatever we teach them. In actuality, children should be the ones who teach us how to be “empty” as they are. We can learn from children to be respectful and tolerant in spite of differences of opinion. We can learn from children to be accepting and to reach out to others in spite of difference of race and religion.
