Dare to be different

I refuse to be the same.  I reject all of the hypocrisy that this world demands  out of me.  I abhor all the superficial lifestyle I have found myself experiencing.  I am sick and  tired of all the pretending.  When I want to laugh, I have to hold my breath to avoid offending anyone.  When I am angry, I have to calm down so that others don’t feel intimidated by me.  When I feel sad, I have to act as if I am content so that others don’t feel sorry for me.  Enough with the hypocrisy!  If I am angry at you, can’t I just express it without jeopardizing our friendship?  If I want to talk to you as a stranger, why not do it without being labeled “weird” or “intrusive”?   If I desire to  help the unfortunate ones, does that make me an enabler?  I want to step out of my comfort zone and connect to others.  But there are so many barriers, so many social norms that prohibit me from being myself.  I am not talking about harming anyone or being obviously inappropriate.  I am talking about being genuine in my ways of interacting with others.  Why Can’t I do this simple act of legitimate, casual conversation with others, without the automatic facade that society taught me to present.  I am against any status quo that impedes  me from safely being myself. Maybe  I sound like I am rambling here, and I hope to be more specific in the future.  But even now, why do I have to worry if I make perfect sense?  Please, just listen and try to understand.  Am I the only one who desires to have a more profound lifestyle with others?  I am not comfortable with just going through the motions.  I want to be myself. I want to be transparent.

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