Secured enough?

I have not written on this blog in ages, but here I go.

We all want to feel happy. Right?  And how exactly do we accomplish this goal?  Feeling secured. Nobody wants to feel afraid.  Nobody wants to feel uncomfortable.  Therefore, we do whatever it takes to feel secured. The sad thing is that most of us adopt a superficial way of gaining security.  Most of us (and if you don’t think you are part of this group, that’s ok) have been hurt by someone or something in our lives.  Probably through abandonment, neglect, disappointment, abuse, or deception.  One way or another, we have experienced an undesirable event that tends to shape our ways of doing things in the present. So we live our lives protecting our egos.  When I say “Ego”, I mean the fabricated identity that has been developed as a result of our past pain.  So what we do is protect our ego by overemphasizing our skills, appearances, and other areas  in our lives to convince ourselves and others that we are better than what we really are.  In other words, we pretend that we are content and happy, when in reality, we are hurt and in pain inside.  We simply live a lie.  But since we don’t want to be rejected or labeled, then we continue to pretend, because we want to belong.   I might not be making much sense, but please bare with me.  We don’t want to be vulnerable, or seem vulnerable to others, so we keep pretending and assuming.  We do this when we dress up, when we talk to our coworkers, friends, and family members.  We do this when we say “fine” when people ask us how are we doing. We do this when we smile  when we prefer to cry.  What we are lacking is the guts to accept our limitations, accept that we have been hurt, stop pretending, and then move on.  We need to be honest with each other.  But it takes a lot of effort, which is why we prefer the easier way: to pretend.  We are all cowards, but we pretend we are brave.  This society is full of pretenders.  It is 9:30 p.m. and I am probably talking nonsense here, but maybe tomorrow, when I feel more rested, I might use better terminology and phrases that will make my message more clear.  But thank you for reading and please comment.  I would love to hear what you think, or ask me questions about what I just wrote.  Let us be Frank.

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