Should We Forgive?


Is it right to forgive others when they hurt us? This blog is about being frank and honest with each other. But if I feel hurt by others, I would rather feel I sincerely forgive them before claiming it. What would be the exact procedure of forgiving? Is it forgetting? Is it excusing the other person’s wrongdoing? When people repeatedly hurt us, how can we possibly not feel hurt and lose faith of the person who hurts us? I have learned that to forgive is a powerful way of liberating ourselves from emotional bonds. Holding resentments and grudges can really damage our emotional wellbeing. It is like a thorn in our hands, a pebble in our shoes. Being able to forgive would be getting free from this pain. But how can this be done when the pain is too great? How can a victim forgive the rapist? How can a family forgive the murderer of a child? How can a child forgive the abuse of a drunken parent? I guess it requires some time for forgiveness to take place. I imagine it is like still remembering the painful experience, without the emotional pain. It is like no longer feeling the trauma that the experience caused.  And if I forgive, does this make me vulnerable again?  Or is it healing myself? Can we be honest with each other and truly forgive?  And when we say we forgive, is it really true, or are we saying it just to feel good about ourselves?  Is it ever OK not to forgive?  Sorry that this post has a lot of questions, but I think these are questions we must ask ourselves when it comes to being honest with ourselves and forgiveness.  Any thoughts about this subject?

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