We can do better 

We humans constantly deceive ourselves with false ideas.  We trap ourselves with fabricated concepts about who we are and what we are supposed to be.  This existence we call “Life” is a great mystery that few of us consider exploring further than what our five senses allow us to .  

We complain of feeling depressed.  That’s simply our habit of focusing too much on the past that we regret. It is also our selfish way of thinking only about our perceived mysery which is masked by hopelessness.  We are basically trapped in our own living hell, refusing to look beyond ourselves. 

We miss the big picture . 

We complain of feeling anxious and nervous. That’s simply our habit of focusing  too much on an unfavorable  future which will never happen.  It is also our selfish way of thinking about our own perceived  vulnerability and limitations which is masked by helplessness and fear. It paralyzes us, so we make ourselves stagnated in our own ruminating thoughts.  We are basically trapped in our own living hell , refusing to look beyond ourselves. 

We miss the big picture. 

So we tend to create our own addictions to temporarily and superficially cope with the mysery. We become slaves of technology, slaves of substances , slaves of unhealthy relationships .  We fill our minds with more junk that come from the media, religion, and politics.  We dig a hole in the ground and stick our heads pretending we are okay when in reality we are drowning in our own created hell. 

We miss the big picture . 

But we have a choice. 

We can look beyond ourselves and start looking at the bigger picture.  We can start by accepting our mortality and be ok with it.  We can consider the fact that we are not alone in this existence and start helping each other instead . We can escape from our own selfish mysery. 

Donate . Volunteer .  Visit.  Assist.  Serve. 

Reach out to others in need and we will automatically be helping ourselves.  Like living cells that help each other to maintain the organism alive.  Our planet is the organism. 

When death comes, let’s mourn together. When hunger and disaster strike us, let’s assist each other . When blessings come, let’s celebrate together.  Let us embrace our humanness, including our  limitations along with our strengths. 

Not in our own selfish, individual mysery.  But collectively and selflessly in cooperation.  

Let us embrace our fellow human beings. 

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Obsolete thinking

We are living in times when there is still communities and organizations that adopt a way of thinking that should be obsolete by now. Thinking and believing that one particular race is superior to others is simply ignorant and immature. 

These are individuals who cannot accept the fact that their way of thinking is already obsolete. Cannot accept the fact that we are finally realizing that we are one community under the description of simply “being human.”

We have been growing and becoming one community.  Those who resist and practice hatred continue to choose to live in their own premature and underdeveloped frame of mind.  They identify with the old way of thinking that is based on segregation , division, and discrimination.  It is simply a lazy way of describing our society.  It is trying to feel better about themselves by putting others down . Practicing hatred and discriminating is another way of bullying. 

Choosing to perceive one’s race , ethnicity , culture, and belief system as superior to others says a lot about our own insecurities.  It says that we are afraid. It says that there is something we don’t like about ourselves without admitting it .  It says that I cannot look at my own faults and shortcomings , so I’m going to focus on others instead who seem different than me and then attack them.  It is basically based on fear. 

But we can do better. We can live our lives, not based on fear, but based on acceptance and love.  We can live our lives accepting each other as mere human beings and learning to live as one community.  We can still do this and celebrate diversity.  A rainbow would not be a rainbow without its different colors .  A forest would not be a forest without its various kinds of plants, animals, and trees. Our bodies would not be a complete body without its different parts performing their own functions and still work harmoniously together . 

Let us unapologetically expose  the hatred , and then replace  it with acceptance and love . 

Take Off Your Clothes

Take off your clothes

Why do we wear so many clothes?  Why do we like to be covered so much? Is it to perform our special skills and attributes on the  stage we call Life?  Or is it to protect ourselves from the cold, heat, and the wind of insecurity and uncertainty?
We wear particular clothes to go to work: a tie, a nice necklace, shinny shoes, a nice dress.  All for what?  To present our facade of professionalism and expertise in whatever we choose to do.

We also wear specific clothes to go to social events, to go to church, to attend important meetings, and even to go to sporting events.  Every occasion has its corresponding type of clothing.  Every type of situation in life triggers a specific kind of defense mechanism.
The clothes we wear everyday serve as trophies and decorations that glorify us in many ways.  It shows the world the importance of what we do in life, it demonstrates our talents, our abilities, and our ambitions.  It shows the world how much money we have, how many people are under our supervision, how many years of experience we have, and how much do we know about the latest fashion.  It shows  everyone else our faiths, our values, and our attitudes.

We also sometimes wear hats, gloves, and oversize jackets to prevent any future harm.  It shows the world not to dare harm us anymore.  It protects us, it shows off our skills, and  it glorifies us.

What for?

Wouldn’t we be better off without all of these unnecessary layers?  Wouldn’t it be better if we are honest and let others see our weaknesses as well?

It simply proves how insecure we are. It shows how afraid we are of being vulnerable.  It depicts our fears. Our limitations.  We don’t dare show off our weaknesses.  We are afraid of disclosing the mistakes and the shortcomings we so much regret.  We rather want to be regarded as strong, limitless, and untouchable.  We rather pretend to be someone else.  So we keep wearing clothes.

We also shave, put on make up, comb our hairs, and cut our nails to present to the world that we are in control and we are taking care of ourselves.  But, are we really?  What about our greed?  What about our hatred towards others?  What about the selfishness and the pride that poison our souls everyday?  We don’t get rid of these, because they are underneath our clothes.  They are hidden under the protection of our egos.  They keep us convinced that we are strong.  So we keep putting on our clothes.

I think we should reconsider this behavior.  We should be honest with ourselves and others, and stop pretending to be someone we are not.  We should start taking off the masks, the decorations, and all the layers that we always wear so that we can fit in.  We should start taking off our clothes.

Paranoia

Who is behind this?  What is causing all of this?  What is the hidden agenda? What are they trying to do to me? How are they stalking me? Who is watching me? Where can I hide?

Paranoia

I have discovered that it is easier to feel paranoid than secured.  Let me explain.  When things don’t go as planned or hoped.  When we lose control of our situation.  When circumstances are going sour and we don’t seem to be able to change it for the better, it is common to link it to an external locus of control.  In other words, we tend to start to believe there are forces beyond our control that are causing what we cannot control.

We  blame it on the government, the employer, the supernatural, etc.

Paranoia.

It is also a coping mechanism to continue to entertain these thoughts.  And I think this is so because it gives us a break from having to figure out what to do about the situation.  It takes away from us the responsibility to try to fix the situation.  So therefore, we give the responsibility to other “unknown” or “unreachable” sources and blame it on them.    It gives us an explanation to what otherwise seems like chaos.  It serves as a quick fix to the unknown.  Instead of trying to further explore, study, and try to find ways to develop a way to act accordingly, we sit back and act like we are hopeless.   We tend to prefer to play the victim role because this way we don’t feel pressured to act upon it.

Paranoia.

It makes our minds narrow.  It forces us to focus on limited information.  It does not allow us to look at the big picture, but rather leads us to be focused on what we choose to believe is causing the chaos, the problem.  We get obsessed with conspiracy. It maintains us in a stage of stagnation.  Can’t think of a solution.  Can’t figure out a way out, except through blame and superstition. It allows us to be dormant, instead of active. It paralyses us.

Paranoia.

I am not the social type

I admit it… I am not the social type… I have tried to change into a more outgoing person… I have struggled with being too introverted, too quiet… But it simply doesn’t work.. I have to accept simply who I am.

Trying to be someone I am not causes too much anxiety.  It is almost like trying to please others.. and this is not what I want to do.  I started this blog with the idea about the importance of being honest with ourselves and with others.  This blog is about being open and expressing our true feelings without offending others (although being offended is a choice). Well, here I am writing this post and being honest with myself and my readers.  I am not the social type… period.

If I try to be more talkative, or try to come up with a topic to discuss, or attempt to break the silence, I feel awkward and uneasy.  How much more of this discomfort should I endure?  I simply don’t feel comfortable doing it.  Shouldn’t I  be OK with who I am, as long as I am not hurting myself or others?

I enjoy reading, writing, going to the beach, drawing, painting,  listening to music, cooking, playing with my children, and  taking naps. I don’t enjoy very much ( although I don’t mind doing it in a very short period of time) going to parties, talking with anyone in a social setting, calling people, and speaking to a crowd.  I don’t have social anxiety either, since I don’t freak out while in public.  I simply don’t feel compelled to initiate conversations with others I don’t know.  It is not my nature.  I do it at work because it is my job.  But  if I don’t have to, I rather not.  And I think  I need to accept this about myself.  I need to let go of the fear of having to please others and simply be me.

Thank you for reading.

Should We Forgive?

forgive

Is it right to forgive others when they hurt us? This blog is about being frank and honest with each other. But if I feel hurt by others, I would rather feel I sincerely forgive them before claiming it. What would be the exact procedure of forgiving? Is it forgetting? Is it excusing the other person’s wrongdoing? When people repeatedly hurt us, how can we possibly not feel hurt and lose faith of the person who hurts us? I have learned that to forgive is a powerful way of liberating ourselves from emotional bonds. Holding resentments and grudges can really damage our emotional wellbeing. It is like a thorn in our hands, a pebble in our shoes. Being able to forgive would be getting free from this pain. But how can this be done when the pain is too great? How can a victim forgive the rapist? How can a family forgive the murderer of a child? How can a child forgive the abuse of a drunken parent? I guess it requires some time for forgiveness to take place. I imagine it is like still remembering the painful experience, without the emotional pain. It is like no longer feeling the trauma that the experience caused.  And if I forgive, does this make me vulnerable again?  Or is it healing myself? Can we be honest with each other and truly forgive?  And when we say we forgive, is it really true, or are we saying it just to feel good about ourselves?  Is it ever OK not to forgive?  Sorry that this post has a lot of questions, but I think these are questions we must ask ourselves when it comes to being honest with ourselves and forgiveness.  Any thoughts about this subject?

“Why do you wave at people?”

waving

My daughter asked me today, driving down my neighborhood “Dad, why do you wave at people in this neighborhood, but don’t do it outside in public?” And I thought, “Good question!” Why do I do that exclusively in the neighborhood, even if I don’t know them? Is it because it is a neighborhood, and we simply feel like belonging to a community? Why not do it outside in the bigger community? If I start waving at people in public, such as in the mall, park, airport, or shopping center, what will people think? Does it matter what people think? Unfortunately, I would feel uncomfortable if someone starts waving at me in public when I don’t know them. I would start thinking that I can’t remember who this person is when I should. Or think that the person is stalking me, or trying to sell me something. But I don’t think I should feel this way. There is nothing wrong with someone waving at another person, even if it is done in public and the people haven’t met each other. Of course, if the person is a famous celebrity, then the expectation is different. But most of us are regular, so why the fear of waving at each other? Hmmm?