Should We Forgive?


Is it right to forgive others when they hurt us? This blog is about being frank and honest with each other. But if I feel hurt by others, I would rather feel I sincerely forgive them before claiming it. What would be the exact procedure of forgiving? Is it forgetting? Is it excusing the other person’s wrongdoing? When people repeatedly hurt us, how can we possibly not feel hurt and lose faith of the person who hurts us? I have learned that to forgive is a powerful way of liberating ourselves from emotional bonds. Holding resentments and grudges can really damage our emotional wellbeing. It is like a thorn in our hands, a pebble in our shoes. Being able to forgive would be getting free from this pain. But how can this be done when the pain is too great? How can a victim forgive the rapist? How can a family forgive the murderer of a child? How can a child forgive the abuse of a drunken parent? I guess it requires some time for forgiveness to take place. I imagine it is like still remembering the painful experience, without the emotional pain. It is like no longer feeling the trauma that the experience caused.  And if I forgive, does this make me vulnerable again?  Or is it healing myself? Can we be honest with each other and truly forgive?  And when we say we forgive, is it really true, or are we saying it just to feel good about ourselves?  Is it ever OK not to forgive?  Sorry that this post has a lot of questions, but I think these are questions we must ask ourselves when it comes to being honest with ourselves and forgiveness.  Any thoughts about this subject?


Fading Mind

My mind has been disappearing. My memories are slowly being deleted. I have few recollection of details. When I read, I have to closely  pay attention, closer than I used to. My mind wonders a lot. Maybe that is it. I am slowly distancing from youth. Is this what aging is about? My physical body is also losing strength. I have noticed that my thoughts are slower. I haven’t even reached mid life. I have the desire to enjoy every moment, to live every second, to appreciate every event. It has been hard to do so. I tend to worry. Yes, this has been my greatest obstacle. I want to live more in the present. I have thought that maybe  I am depressed, or overly anxious, or even delusional.  I am almost convinced that I might have Attention Deficit Disorder. I don’t know for sure, but what I do know is that I am slowly becoming less independent, meaning, I am depending too much on to-do lists, calendars, and other people to remind me stuff. When I read books, I find myself having to reread them to fully grasp the details. I try to write notes on the margins.   When I watch movies, I miss most of the plot. What is this? Is it self pity?  Am I just making it up?  Does everyone experience the same thing?