The state of (my) existence

I have been living what can be considered an existential crisis for the last five years or so. I have been relinquishing a lot of old ideas and beliefs that I held in my younger life. The introduction of the practice of mindfulness , and the idea of emptying my mind has been a new way of being.

No longer do I strive for happiness , for it always brings disappointments, since it depends on the ever changing circumstances. I have come to accept and live the here and now more . Although moments of irritation triggered by everyday worries and daily demands have not been absent, I have also been encouraging myself to look at the bigger picture .

The idea of a higher being is now more mystical and obscure, since I have adopted a more liberal path in finding meaning in this existence. I’m no longer bound by the traditional concepts of today’s western religions. I have expanded my views and decided to be more inclusive regarding alternative world views and live in the present moment.

Minimalism has also been my latest inspiration. I have recognized that less is truly more. That having more leads to wanting more. It has been also my latest motto in this existence, since abundance and prosperity have proven to be unfulfilling and meaningless .

Simplicity has also been my companion in the midst of the chaos. Perceiving this existence simply has motivated me to live fully and in peace. Letting go of vanity and useless desires has truly freed me from unnecessary addictions . I have come to conclude that living a simple life is much more fulfilling than always seeking for complicated reasons for living.

I have also questioned the existence of the “self” and the real nature of time. Perhaps I am one many cells that compose one larger organism. And time may just be a fabricated idea in our minds.

This state of “my” existence has been a new adventure and a blessing at the same time. It shall continue to be my newest journey .

Thanks for reading .


This is all I have….

ImageAll I have is the present moment… nothing else.  I am lost in a sea of confusion as the result of dwelling on the past and the future.   But it is all an illusion.  My mind is my worst enemy.  Why be a prisoner of it?  All I truly have is what is in front of me.  Nothing else gives me peace and tranquility.  All I know is what I am sensing at the present moment.  Everything else is simply speculation.  I hear the rain outside.  Its drops fall softly on the ground.  Concentrating on this present moment helps me to realize the reality of life .   

This is all I have. 


 There are many things we often take for granted that I stopped believing. For instance, I doubt we ever went to the moon. I don’t think we can rely on the government to help the poor.  I don’t believe the US is the world power anymore, or a Christian nation. I don’t believe anymore that God is up there in a distant heavenly place and punishes us with eternal hell. I don’t think we are alone in the universe. I don’t think sodas and fast food are safe to consume. I don’t believe time exists, or that history books can be trusted. Pyramids were probably not built by humans, neither were the recent crop circles.  I don’t think we will ever reach complete world peace, or that nations can ever unite. I don’t even believe everything we call reality is actually real, most of what we experience is an illusion.

What DO I still believe, you may ask??   Well, I still believe in the afterlife, and that ghosts or angels remain among us after the physical death.   I still believe that we can teach our children better how to have more peace, by emphasizing on communication, cooperation, and mercy.  I believe that we can help the poor by reaching out to our next door’s neighbor.  I believe we can improve our technology to help us unite more, rather than emphasizing on individualism and competition. I believe that here and today are the places and time to start thinking differently about the human race.

I am still learning and growing, keeping some beliefs, getting rid of some old assumptions, and having new beliefs.