Warning: the following note is a hypothetical sentiment about how I would feel as a true nihilist. This is Not a sign of a potential suicide.
My dear loved ones and acquaintances . I have come to conclude that this existence is no longer worth living .
I have struggled and questioned a lot and is worthless to continue to live. Everything we experience is based on our interpretation . Nothing seems to be objective . We create what is good and what is bad. Nothing that we do and prepare lasts forever.
Everybody does things to obtain some kind of self satisfaction and reward, including helping others with the real purpose of feeling good about themselves. Nothing is done with genuine selflessness. Every act of kindness is done based on self righteousness.
The only reason to make efforts to do good to others is with the hope that the good we do today will impact others in the future with favorable outcomes. But that is not guaranteed .
I have tried to do good. But I have realized that many times ( if not all the times ) I have acted out of selfishness . To relieve some guilt or alleviate a pain. And my mission, whatever it was, is over. I’ve done my part.
We fabricate meaning and purpose based on our own interpretation of reality.
It’s all subjective.
It really does not matter unless you give it importance. It has no meaning unless you give it meaning.
What is really out there except what is interpreted through my mind?
What is in my mind can be changed at any moment. There is nothing concrete and tangible out there.
So when I leave, I leave nothing behind except other people’s interpretations of my temporary existence. Memories .
Those who never met me will not care. Those who know me will eventually forget me.
And life will go on.
So don’t feel sad.
Because one day it will be your turn.
And we may (or may not ) meet again.