Mind Trap

Once we put a label on something , we’re cursed and destined to suffer its consequences.

As soon as we put a name on something , it automatically becomes a trap. It develops into an entity we feel obligated to defend and protect. Whatever it is, either a person’s name, race, nationality, profession, or the name of an event, a place, or situation.

It automatically owns us . It can consume us. It can dictate our thoughts and behaviors. Whatever it is. It can become a reality , but only in our heads, which we will assume to be true until the end .

But do we have to? Are we truly destined to continue to believe the delusions we create in our heads? Is there an escape to this madness?

Our identities are an illusion. Our family names and traditions are also illusions. Patriotism, professionalism, morality, beauty , social classes, religion… they are all labels we put in our heads to try to make sense of this existence.

Truth. Faith . Right versus wrong. Order. Hierarchies. Freedom. Happiness. Meaning.

Everything can be questioned , as far as they are created in our heads. Everything can be changed and altered in our minds.

What is the purpose of our existence then? Purpose is yet another illusion.

What are we to do then?

The concept of “we” is also an illusion . “We” could mean a group of people , a crowd, a town, a country, human beings. Even different entities within one person. They are illusions .

If we get rid of all these illusions and start from zero, what do we have left?

Are we capable of denying ourselves at this level ?

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Waiting for my Dad to die

I am currently going through a difficult time… I was recently informed that my Dad, which I call Papi, may be in his death bed now. He has been living in a nursing home and was not eating well.. His potassium level was elevated . He was rushed to the hospital. Now his kidneys are failing and is dehydrated and the doctors gave him a 15-20% chance of survival .

This is hard . I’ve never had anyone so close to me in the process of dying . It’s incredible the amount of emotional pain this brings. Although I’ve not seen him for many years , it still hurts a lot . I have my moments of calm and serenity , but then there are the other moments of pure sorrow and grief. I think about the few times we spent together and the things I learned from him. It wasn’t much actually , since my parents were separated and then divorced most of my life. But it still causes a great deal of sadness not being able to see him like he once was.

I once wrote a post about grief, which i define as feeling sorry for missing the lost person. And I can admit I feel sad and distraught, not because my Dad is necessarily suffering, but because I miss him. I wish I would have spent more time with him. I wish I would have known him and that my children would have known him more.

So now I’m waiting. Waiting for some news about his recovery or his departure. It is torture is some way. But I feel confident that he will be in a peaceful place now.

Update: I received the dreadful news that Papi passed away… I’m distraught . I have crying spells . Can’t concentrate half of the time. But I’m doing ok. Sometimes I wonder if this is a test. An accident. Or a teaching moment.

I just attended his funeral and burial. It’s hard to see my brothers and mom crying. It is a moment I’m never forgetting. Wish I could’ve spent more time with Papi. I feel I did not get to know him . Life’s circumstances prevented me from seeing him more often. He wasn’t part of most of my life .

Yet I miss him and wish I could have at least say goodbye to him.

Miss you, Papi.

The state of (my) existence

I have been living what can be considered an existential crisis for the last five years or so. I have been relinquishing a lot of old ideas and beliefs that I held in my younger life. The introduction of the practice of mindfulness , and the idea of emptying my mind has been a new way of being.

No longer do I strive for happiness , for it always brings disappointments, since it depends on the ever changing circumstances. I have come to accept and live the here and now more . Although moments of irritation triggered by everyday worries and daily demands have not been absent, I have also been encouraging myself to look at the bigger picture .

The idea of a higher being is now more mystical and obscure, since I have adopted a more liberal path in finding meaning in this existence. I’m no longer bound by the traditional concepts of today’s western religions. I have expanded my views and decided to be more inclusive regarding alternative world views and live in the present moment.

Minimalism has also been my latest inspiration. I have recognized that less is truly more. That having more leads to wanting more. It has been also my latest motto in this existence, since abundance and prosperity have proven to be unfulfilling and meaningless .

Simplicity has also been my companion in the midst of the chaos. Perceiving this existence simply has motivated me to live fully and in peace. Letting go of vanity and useless desires has truly freed me from unnecessary addictions . I have come to conclude that living a simple life is much more fulfilling than always seeking for complicated reasons for living.

I have also questioned the existence of the “self” and the real nature of time. Perhaps I am one many cells that compose one larger organism. And time may just be a fabricated idea in our minds.

This state of “my” existence has been a new adventure and a blessing at the same time. It shall continue to be my newest journey .

Thanks for reading .

Ten Reasons why Life could actually be Meaningless

1. Nobody knows with absolute certainty the purpose of this existence.

2. Most people create their own meaning based on individual, cultural experience, with no clear evidence on an objective , collective purpose .

3. We are just beginning to understand the origins of human nature and our place in this vast universe.

4. Nature does not always follow a consistent and organized pattern. It is often chaotic.

5. Nature does not depend and does not seem to care about human condition.

6. We are all going to die, regardless of how much we accomplish and learn in life (and how much we try to ignore and deny it).

7. Nobody knows with certainty what happens to consciousness or the “soul” after we die.

8. Innocent people , children and adult , continue to randomly suffer and die out of starvation, natural disasters, and human caused wars . Do they deserve to die or is it simply chance?

9. The earth is billions of years old, and human race has existed only during a miniature fracture in this planet’s lifetime .

10. All organized religions that are based on the belief of a deity (s) claim to be the only right path to the true purpose of our existence . Who knows which one is right ?

There you have it. I could be wrong and completely out of touch with what is truly the purpose of this life , but this has been my experience so far .

Any thoughts?

My “Near Death” Experience

Well, today I did something stupid .

I was waiting for our new dryer to be delivered all day. While I waited, I grabbed the new power cord I purchased the day before and tried to plug it in the wall socket to see if it would fit .

I then saw the heavens open in front of me. What I mean was that there was a spark coming out of the socket while trying to plug in the new cord. I jumped.

To my surprise, there was no damage to the wall or myself (that I know of) . I then noticed that the other end of the cord has three metal rings that (dumb me) were touching each other while attempting to plug the other end. They are not supposed to be touching while connecting it to a power source. Here is the result .

So, I read some You Tube videos about what causes sparks to occur while plugging in dryer cords. I then learned that this kind of electrical occurrence could have killed me.

Literally.

So I took a deep breath and counted my blessings.

I was then anxious the rest of the day because I wasn’t sure if the dryer was going to even work. Or if the wall socket was going to need replacement. The delivery guy finally came at the end of the day and I explained what happened. He must be an angel because he was nice enough to provide a new power cord and install it himself. For free.

I hooked up the dryer and, so far, it works.

Lesson learned.

Thanks for reading.

We can do better 

We humans constantly deceive ourselves with false ideas.  We trap ourselves with fabricated concepts about who we are and what we are supposed to be.  This existence we call “Life” is a great mystery that few of us consider exploring further than what our five senses allow us to .  

We complain of feeling depressed.  That’s simply our habit of focusing too much on the past that we regret. It is also our selfish way of thinking only about our perceived mysery which is masked by hopelessness.  We are basically trapped in our own living hell, refusing to look beyond ourselves. 

We miss the big picture . 

We complain of feeling anxious and nervous. That’s simply our habit of focusing  too much on an unfavorable  future which will never happen.  It is also our selfish way of thinking about our own perceived  vulnerability and limitations which is masked by helplessness and fear. It paralyzes us, so we make ourselves stagnated in our own ruminating thoughts.  We are basically trapped in our own living hell , refusing to look beyond ourselves. 

We miss the big picture. 

So we tend to create our own addictions to temporarily and superficially cope with the mysery. We become slaves of technology, slaves of substances , slaves of unhealthy relationships .  We fill our minds with more junk that come from the media, religion, and politics.  We dig a hole in the ground and stick our heads pretending we are okay when in reality we are drowning in our own created hell. 

We miss the big picture . 

But we have a choice. 

We can look beyond ourselves and start looking at the bigger picture.  We can start by accepting our mortality and be ok with it.  We can consider the fact that we are not alone in this existence and start helping each other instead . We can escape from our own selfish mysery. 

Donate . Volunteer .  Visit.  Assist.  Serve. 

Reach out to others in need and we will automatically be helping ourselves.  Like living cells that help each other to maintain the organism alive.  Our planet is the organism. 

When death comes, let’s mourn together. When hunger and disaster strike us, let’s assist each other . When blessings come, let’s celebrate together.  Let us embrace our humanness, including our  limitations along with our strengths. 

Not in our own selfish, individual mysery.  But collectively and selflessly in cooperation.  

Let us embrace our fellow human beings. 

Think about your thoughts …

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Our minds control our lives.

We often say to other people  “Try not to think about it” , “Don’t be so negative” or “Try to be positive.”  What we are really saying is, “Change your thoughts and perceptions about the situation.”

We often reflect with our words the reality that most of our experiences are based on our thoughts and perceptions.  Our lives are basically dictated by the ideas and concepts we have in our minds.  The interesting thing is that most of the time we do not realize it.

Our minds are so powerful, and yet we don’t recognize that we can control it so that we can control our circumstances.  In other words, we are able to change the way we think if we choose to.

The challenge comes when we unconsciously identify with whatever it is that we have chosen to value in our lives.  And we identify with it simply because we do not want to accept the inevitable fact of our mortality.  And it becomes an automatic habit which we do not rethink about.  It is normal to perceive ourselves as white, black, Mr. and Mrs. Jones, a teacher, a construction worker, a mom, a dad,  a Cubs fan, an American, a soldier, etc.  It makes us who (we think) we are.

In previous blog posts, I have talked about how our thoughts and ideas can be used to feed our ego, which is the fabricated self that we keep nurturing in order to avoid thinking about our own mortality.

So we choose, or we are taught to identify with, a family name, a particular race, ethnicity, political party, profession, etc.  Simply because we want to maintain ourselves distracted and entertained with identities that help us feel alive and valued.   In other words, away from the reality of our death, the ultimate unknown.  So we keep deceiving ourselves.

Also, when we say “Good luck!” or “I’ll pray for you!”, we are basically saying that, because we cannot control or directly intervene with a difficult situation, we wish someone else a favorable outcome by thinking they may receive some assistance from an outside source beyond our control.  In other words, I cannot help you directly, but I am claiming that somehow you receive some help beyond my human capacity.

So, pay attention to what you think.   Review and contemplate on how each statement you  make can reflect the fear of the unknown.  Fear of your mortality.

Think about your thoughts.