So it l look no I’m
has been a struggle to manage my anxiety. Sometimes I feel like I have been successful by practicing mindfulness. But other times I feel like I’ve been losing a battle. I understand that this is not really a battle, it’s a matter of accepting the anxiety and by doing so, I can start to manage it better. I understand all of that, however, it is super challenging when it comes to real life situations.
For instance, I have planned for many days to call the mechanic again to look at my car regarding a tire. I’ve been dreading picking up the phone and calling them. I’ve always felt more anxious when it comes to car issues. There have been short moments in my daily life when I question my negative thoughts and I’m able to rationalize and therefore feel better about the situation. But most of the times I feel paralyzed and hesitant about making a step to make the phone call.
I feel embarrassed, admitting that I still struggle with anxiety because I’m a counselor myself and I teach others to do the same. I need to also practice what I teach, which includes accepting my anxiety. I’ll try to be compassionate with myself as well.
So today I finally made the phone call and thankfully the person on the other line was friendly. I wasn’t fearing that the person would not be friendly, but just talking about car issues increases my anxiety. I think it is mainly because I know so little about cars and my fear is that people will take advantage of me. But that’s the only reason that I can think of explains my level of anxiety.
I think it has to do also with the issue that I have with “imposter syndrome.” I have thought many times that my success in life has been primarily because of “good luck.” Either because people were desperate to hire me in my previous jobs , and that I have been able to manage to live a successful personal life because I depended on my wife. So I asked myself sometimes, am I where I am now in life because of people’s sympathy and assistance, or have I been successful mostly because of my own efforts ?
I tried to not practice the imposter syndrome by listing in my mind the positive qualities and strengths that I have which helps me to become the person I am today. Such as , the fact that I have a lot of love and care for my family, which makes me a good husband and father. I also have some people skills and knowledge about communication and mental illness, which helps me to be a good counselor. Also I have some artistic talents that help me to create my artwork. I am also a big fan of philosophy, psychology , and I like to read books about self-help and watch science fiction movies .So, even though I tend to forget some things, and I’m not knowledgeable about mechanics, engineering, business, and other mathematical subjects, I do have knowledge about other subjects (humanities , art, and social studies) that help me to be the person I am.
This is all about self-confidence, which is basically about my belief on my abilities to do things, and to have things. But going deeper would be my self- esteem and self love, which is to accept who I am as a person, no matter what I am able to do.
Let us be Frank 